OLD ANNOUCEMENT: Regret

[DA VINCI~]

Dear 3 membrs of Cysro...

First off, I'm sorry.

There.

I got that off my chest.

I have been gone for what I believe was more than just one month or week. Time's really been flying past me and I've been seriously struggling to get back to my normal routines. I've been lost in my own mind- my thoughts have been foggy, and just keep leading me down to one road that I now know not to take.

Now...
The biggest readon for y disappearence was the fact that I had begun seeing a therapist
My mother left the country, along with my sister.
I thought it was jusy a friendly visit. But one day, she called and said that maybe the divorce papers woukld already come in handy. And that they might stay there. Forever.

My father is a great guy!
But he's never around.
My friends have been there for me, but I subconsciously began to seperate myself from them. My friends ahave beecome distant to me. My family is broken apart, and my father just isn't there when I need him most.

I've been eating less, and basically just not caring about what's been going on. Worst off, rumours started of me taking drugs, and shit like that. At first, I didn't care. But as I've begun to realize this, it's becoming harder to cope with.

My therapy sessions have enderd as of last week, and my therapist has been trying to get me back into my life, and I think some of muy friends may accept me once they learn the truth. I'm not sure if I'll be able to tell themn everything just yet, and I still have some stuff I'm hidingh from even you guys.

Some things are just best left unsaid.

But now, I want to change, I've realized how I've been living. How I've been smiling and playing along on the outside and breaking apart on the inside. I've transferred schools, I've changled mmy wardrobe, and I've changed my actions.

I want to be accepted.

And in this case,
I want to be re-accepted.

Love,
-Anita

[TESLA]

Anita

I'll start with saying I am so, so sorry.

Words cannot express how sorry I am. I had no idea.

After the first week that you were gone, me and Kevin both began to worry, and I thought maybe you were just taking a break, like I had just before you disappeared.

By the time a month had passed, I began leaving messages and checking ever day to see if you had at least been on, asking Kevin every day if he had heard from you. I tore apart my room looking for your phone number so I could call and see if you were okay.

I could never imagine that things had gone so bad. And I am so, so sorry I could not be there for you when you needed me the most. I wish more than ever that I knew and that I could do something about it. I've been so scared and so worried and to know that you're suffering this much kills me inside.

I love you so much. You're my best friend. And I'm still here, I'm always here, and I'm sorry. If you do manage to get on and read this, please try to contact me somewhere, somehow. I'm not going to be her for the long weekend but I need to know that you're okay.

I'm sorry,
I love you,
and if I can, I want to be there for you.
Please, please message me.

You'll always be accepted with me.
~Luna

[Grimwyck]

I agree with Luna here- I'm sorry about what's happened to you. Really, truly, deeply, sorry. Those are basically the only words I can think of to cover a centimeter of what I feel for you.

Believe me, you'll always be accepted by us- Luna and me anyway. I hope with all my heart it gets better for you. And if you ever need to talk to someone, I'll be open to it. {Namaste}

You are loved--
~Grim

[DA VINCI~]

Thank you both. It really means a lot to hear something like that after being gone for so long. I'm glad it hasn't made anyone think I was cowardly leaving the site without goodbye or such.

I've really missed the tiny community, and it feels good to be re-accepted in to it. So again, thank you.

-Anita

[Erinland]

Anita, my eyes are welling up because I wasnt here to give you encouragement... I hope you're better, or at least maybe on your way to feeling better. I'm sorry, and know that even when I'm not on, I'm thinking about all you guys, and hoping you're all safe and happy. *Hugs*

[DA VINCI~]

Thank you Erin.

I'm feeling a lot better after all that time off to reflect and meet up with the therapist and such. I've really just been trying to get over it and trying to get back to my old self. I try not to think about everything that's happened and focus on what's happening right now.

It means a lot to hear that you guys understand.

[Back to] Always LOL'ing,
~Anita

:: EDIT ::

I've gotten a very important phone call regarding my family, I'll write about it in another annoucement.